To the man who lost me FOREVER

 

“Hi. How are you? How’s life? How’s your career? Are you doing good reviewing? Is it road to CPA now?”

Well, I used to care so much. I tried my best to hold on and keep you, but you didn’t want this as much as I did. I never wanted to pleased anyone, yet I was still there hoping and praying that you would see my worth.

For how long was it again I was waiting for you?

Imagine all those guys I rejected just because of you. Imagine my feelings cut with a blunted knife. Imagine those moments with you that made me feel happy but the majority of the time you shut me out. I hope you also regret about losing me, like how you dropped a diamond while picking up pennies.  I cared for you even if “there was never an us”. I cared for you even if “we’re near yet so far”. I cared for you even if you didn’t care for me.

However…

I know I also caused you heartache at the time of me walking away. You should have been careful of how far you push me away because I ended up liking it there.

It’s like…

I waited.

Got tired.

Lost hope.

And let go.

You had me with your words but lost me with your actions. I was the one who loved you even though you gave me thousands of reasons not to. Congratulations you lost me! 🙂 And thank you for losing me because it leads me to the right one. You showed me my worth and teach me to let go of people I don’t deserve.

Do not feel sorry for me because I only lost you: someone who does not deserve the love I showed, someone who’s not worth fighting for, and someone who took me for granted. But you lost me, you wasted the love someone showed you, you gave up someone who’s worth fighting for, and you throw away a precious gold.

Hence, despite of all those throbbing past I am still grateful that I experienced it, because I ended up with someone who’s afraid of losing me.

And I am happy to finally found someone…

I deserve to wake up in bed next to a man that is happy to see me beside him.

Someone that kisses me in spite of morning breathe and can’t get out of bed before making love to me again.

Someone who won’t stay mad at me, who can’t stand not talking to me, and who’s afraid of losing me.

No more heartaches because I didn’t lose you. You lost me and I thank you for that. 🙂

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